Sweet Baby Girl

Everyday for the past 5 months I have whispered into my sweet baby girl's ear....
"Thanks, for saving me."
On October 5th, 2009, a few weeks before Jayden's first birthday, I was surprised with a positive pregnancy test. I think I felt every emotion that day. The one I remember most was how scared I was. In the months that followed I became selfish and depressed. I did everything I was supposed to do to keep my growing belly healthy and safe but my heart was just not in it. I am not very good with change and I just wanted everything to stay the same....forever........ the months that passed were filled with ups and downs. Some day's I sang happily, others I spent on my knees crying. I guess I was just afraid of everything. I was afraid of birth. I was afraid that I couldn't love both children. I was afraid that I could just not handle the change two would bring. All this time I spent feeling scared I forgot the most important thing...it's not all about me...this was her time! I knew she was coming, I felt her long before she grew inside me. I knew that she was strong, beautiful, and loving. I knew I wanted her. Most of all I knew I loved her. She replaced my fear with happiness. I have never been happier. She has made me a better person. Most days I hold her until my arms hurt. She reminded me why I am here.....she saved me.