33 Weeks

This morning as I was writing things in our calendar I realized that after this week I will have just one more full month of being pregnant! With Jayden everything went by so fast, but this time it feels like it is taking forever....which has been good and bad. This pregnancy has brought out a lot of emotion. With Jayden I was happy and carefree always in a good mood, well not this time. The first 4 months were felled with what I call Prepartum Depression. I questioned my ability to handle another baby especially with Jayden being so young, and it scared me. Was I really ready? The answer was always no followed by an hour of tears. Then my thoughts turned to the fact that I was going to have to give birth again and that freaked me out even more. Then at 4 months the those feelings were gone...they just vanished and I was happy and carefree again. That is until the ultrasound. It started out great, until they told me she has two small cysts on her brain so they ordered a genetic blood test. Those tests came out normal and the Dr. was not worried after that. Then the next apt. came and he told me that looking over the ultrasound he found something else...a single artery cord. Now that sounds scary but the internet makes it worse than it is. It is in fact the most common cord problem and all it means for me and baby is I will have to start weekly stressed tests at 36 weeks, because babies with this problem tend to become weak the last few weeks of the pregnancy so they need to watch her. Then when she is born she will just get a little more attention. The main concern is kidney function, but Dr. Cox is the best and when he tells me not to worry I believe him. My last two apts. have been great though everything looks normal. While we were going though those months of worry I became very closed off. I tuned off my phone for a whole week once because I didn't want to talk to anyone. Now it wasn't because I was in self pity or anything like that I just woke up one day mad, at nothing in particular I was just mad. It's like something just clicked inside me and my killer instinct came flooding out. I felt like I could take on anyone. I would pick fights just to pick a fight. One day I asked Jon what was happening to me, why was I so mean? We have since decided that either two girls just can't share the same space for that long or we are going to have one mean little girl. I am hoping for the fist one. Well I am happy to say that I am 33 weeks and back to being happy and carefree, let's hope it stays that way because I am tired of these crazy mood swings. Also forgive me if this post is all over the place I have a sever case of pregnancy brain and am a little slow most of the time.

33 Weeks